What to Do in the Face of Incivility

By Matt Lehrman

Social Prosperity Partners

In the months before Election Day, the problem of incivility in public life isn’t going away. So, when you find yourself dealing with inappropriate, disruptive behavior, whether by members of the public or by your colleagues, there are three distinct approaches you can take to manage the situation.

1. MAKE THEM STOP — Same in preschool as on a governing board, there’s nothing like a good timeout when emotions get overheated. Take a breath. Walk out of the room. If necessary, temporarily suspend or adjourn a meeting completely. Clear, fair rules with consistent enforcement are key. Whatever the issue, remember your responsibility to your community or organization and its governance. This isn’t a time to “fight fire with fire,” but to deprive the fire of oxygen. 

2. MEDIATE — When there is a necessary decision to be made and a mutual desire for dialogue, it can be useful for disagreeing parties to engage a trained facilitator. They can provide the structure, objectivity, and cool-headedness necessary to find a workable solution.  Mediation works best when it’s voluntary, that is, not imposed in some way. Remember our mantra at Social Prosperity Partners: “Where people work together courageously, their potential is unlimited.” 

3. MOVE FORWARD — At some point, you may simply need to “agree to disagree,” which means either calling the question or moving on to other important business. However, while it’s never good to let perfection be the enemy of progress, remember that issues left unresolved today likely will fester and erupt again later. So make a plan to address them as soon as possible.